I recently went ice skating with my family and a friend who is an ice skating coach. For those who know me well, I absolutely love sports but ice skating has always been my least favourite one. I’m absolutely horrible at it and would be that person hanging on the edge of the rink or playing arcade games instead. But here in Canada, I gave myself a challenge to conquer my fears and by the end of 2hrs, I had learnt the proper way to skate and was actually enjoying it!
For me, it ended up being a bigger lesson on personal growth and here are some learnings I wanted to share to help those looking to change in 2023:
#1 SHOW UP. Growth won’t simply happen to me. I need to put myself in a position to change and that meant exposing myself to an experience I was not comfortable with. Even with the date and time set for us to go skating, I still had to take the step to show up and not back out.
#2 HUMBLE YOURSELF. Pride is one of the biggest barriers to our growth. Pride puts us in a position of non-reality. I could either lie and say I’m okay at skating and don't need help (which would be non-reality) or I could get real and say I’m a real beginner at the ripe age of 40. There was a moment on the rink where my son Nate said I should use the red seal (an apparatus for kids to hold when they initially learn). I felt ridiculous and embarrassed holding on to a red seal in this public skating arena. But I did it and it ending up being a huge help.
#3 FOCUS ON WHAT SUCCESS LOOKS LIKE FOR YOU. I could have the goal of “not falling” or I could have the goal of skating and depending on which one I chose, success would look different. My goal was to learn to skate properly and so I needed to focus on the measures that mattered to me. It was pretty tempting to compare myself with everyone around me and speedsters too, especially young ones! My son would often ask me “You’re good at standing up on the ice, but what are you still trying to do dad?” - to which I would repearedly respond “My goal is to learn to skate properly son”.
#4 FALLING & FAILING ARE DIFFERENT THINGS. I needed to “fall to learn”. Initially I was all tense because I was trying not to fall, but I remembered what success was for me and when I let go and opened myself to falling, it opened me to learn to skate properly. Confession: Elsa’s “let it go” chorus line may have played in my mind a few times. There’s a key distinction between failing and falling. For my specific circumstance, not to fall may actually have been failing. And the bruise I now have on my lower back lets me know that in I may have actually succeeded.
#5 GET THE HELP YOU NEED. Having a coach and community helped me make my inner thoughts/dreams/goals a reality. I couldn’t do it alone. I needed guidance, encouragement and correction. Coach Alana together with the support of loved ones was able to accelerate my growth and help me achieve something in 2hrs that I couldn’t achieve in over 20 years. I'm now keen to keep practising and seeing what's possible.
So what are you looking to change in 2023? Is there a goal or focus or intentional direction for you? Are you afraid? What are your worried about most? What’s holding you back? Hope this would be of encouragement to you.
Cheering you on in your journey!
Live whole. Live Holystic.
James
p.s if there are big steps you’d like to make in your life in 2023 and want support, why don’t you start with a smaller next step and book a call with me (visit liveholystic.com). If you’re asking for ice skating coaching, I’m definitely not your person but I’m happy to refer you!